Have you ever noticed yourself slipping into routines and patterns?
Whether it’s a way that you sort through your worry in your mind, finding yourself stuck in thought or attached to a certain way of doing things, there is often a pattern that we are practicing here.
Thoughts, body sensation, emotions, actions- they can play out in a very familiar loop. It’s easy to think: “Well, this is just who I am. It’s what I do.” You have been practicing this way of being for years and years.
And we are always practicing something.
There are small but powerful ways to shift the way we show up for ourselves by first putting attention to how we are practicing our daily routines, patterns and habits. Is the way that I’m doing this contributing to my life in a positive way? Is there a cost to this pattern that I’d love to shift? Is there another way I could be doing this?
If we see these patterns as practices, there is a way to try something different. And we can start with easy shifts by bringing in a new, simple practice. Name it a PRACTICE and you are supporting your deeper commitments to yourself, towards how you want to show up in your life.
Your morning shower can become a practice that helps you deepen into your favorite mood, preparing your coffee or putting the dishes into the washer can set you up for a more spacious, calmer approach to your day.
Notice the practices that you already have and celebrate that.
YES! I love my evening walks.
YES! I am great at connection in my morning chats with my kiddo.
YES! I really listen to my body in these moments.
YES! I take care of myself well in this way.
Highlighting a practice can shift a mundane task or moment. Shift from feeling rushed, tight, thinking of your lists for the day… to one that softens your pace, your mood and perspective to prepare for what’s ahead. Puts you in a supportive stance.
Mindful, slow, compassionate, spacious, ready.
Can you imagine that shift in your body?
What is possible with five minutes of intentional practice today calming the mind and allowing in more of the feelings that you really would love to feel.
Here are some simple ways to implement the power of practice:
Embrace the power of small, easy intentional practices. Don’t over complicate things. Pause to take in some deep breaths. Follow your attention into sensation. Let your eyes take in the nourishment of the life all around you, flourishing before you eyes. Feel your heart. Simple and sweet.
Think about what it is you are practicing now. With compassion, notice what you do now and how that works for you. Observe with love.
Gently lean towards the sunshine. Imagine making a slight, one degree shift towards what you’d like with a new routine or a different action. How could a new practice move you towards a transformation over time?
Journal your thoughts. Change can feel daunting, no matter how positive that change will be in the long haul. Jot down your thoughts: the good, the bad, the overwhelming, the empowering…let yourself feel it all as you shift away from the mind into your heart.
Remember baby steps over time and that you are doing a really good job just as you are today. Celebrate what you are already doing now that is great! See yourself! Love yourself!
What are practices that bring you joy?
By identifying the things that keep us in our default patterns and routines, and taking ourselves seriously in the process, we can discover the intentional practices we can do to get us to where we desire to be.
Dance! Make a playlist! Grab a partner or a plant. Shake it like you own it. Maybe even just a little skip to start. Hands down a SURE shift to your mood.
Somatic resilience is our ability to shift from states of hyper-vigilance and stress to a calmer, resourceful, and connected state. This shift helps us stay present and to see a brighter future. Resilience moves us toward strength, wholeness, possibility, and healing
Resilience also guides us through our most challenging moments in life.
There can be a subtle difference between resilience strategies and survival tactics. Resilience practices can prepare us to experience a fuller range of emotions and sensations. We practice feeling more alive, open and connected to what’s around us in contrast to some of our survival strategies like numbing out, distracting, distancing and staying unaware of what’s happening in our lives and bodies.
We practice resilience so that we can be in choice for when we are under stress. Rather than just our automatic reactions to discomfort, we can stay present a bit more each time.
Powerful resilience practices can include: helping others, connecting to our imagination and creativity, shared collective experience, and a connection to something greater than ourselves.
Here are some simple ways to practice your resilience
Take a mindful walk in nature or around the block. Notice beauty, allow yourself to be in wonder, awestruck even, of what you take in.
Sit in the sun, feeling the calm and slowness. Take in all of the senses: the warmth, the color of the sky, the visual you have for this moment, the smells, the sounds.
Create a moment to hug, reach our or connect with a loved one. Open to the uplift and warmth that connection can bring in its simplicity.
Find joy, contentment, delight in music or art. How does it move you inside and out? How can you feel the experience of this artist through their work?
More about resilience vs. survival strategies
Survival strategies, while often necessary and effective, can leave us feeling numb, tense, and detached. Although these tactics might feel familiar or “safe,” they often disconnect us, restrict our actions and interactions, and make us feel less complete.
We might have needed these strategies to buffer from overwhelm or discomfort that we’re feeling by numbing out or distracting ourselves from what’s really happening. Numbing out might be social media, Netflix all night, binging on an indulgence of choice, isolating ourselves, avoidance of something we know is important.
We all have our things that we do!
We can start to notice these strategies with compassion, softness and a check in: Hey, I’m doing this thing.
What am I feeling right now? Can I pause for just a moment here?
When we see that we are longing for change, it’s not helpful or easy to just remove an old strategy for how we’ve handled challenging moments. We can’t force change or override a program we have running.
We must acknowledge what this strategy has skillfully taken care of for us, perhaps for a long, long time. Self-compassion is so important here. We are all so human. Then slowly, maybe in 1 degree shifts, we can start to turn to intentional practices that help us foster our inner joy, well-being and connection to self and others.
What are your own practices that bring you joy?
How will you connect with yourself today?
-Resource: Resilience: A Somatic Definition -Staci K. Haines with generative somatics
Tuning into the innate wisdom of your body to heal
Somatics is about seeing ourselves as an integrated whole.
We are not just mind-body-spirit, not just our psychology and biology. We are also our emotional and life experiences, our thoughts and perceptions. Your Soma is ALL of this, it’s how you are being as a human in this world.
Somatics sees the body as a place of change, learning and transformation.
Yet we often experience living mostly in our minds and not in our body at all.
With Somatics, we start to practice an awareness of body sensation, slowness and feeling what is there beneath our thoughts and perceptions. As we reconnect to the intelligence of the body, powerful things happen.
With this awareness comes greater choice.
You can understand what you are actually practicing and where you are truly at. Aha! I see what I’m doing, I feel what my body is trying to do and how it’s all the happening together here beneath the surface.
From this place of awareness, you can learn to shift and change towards what you want with more ease, confidence and connection to yourself.
With Somatics, you learn to hold this awareness as you practice or embody how you want to feel. How does a confident body move? How would a pain-free shoulder hold itself? What does my body want to express and how do I shift to that? This is embodiment.
Ask yourself: What’s next for me and my body?
And now slow down for a moment and really tune in.
Deep breath.
Ask again.
How would your body answer that question?
What is happening for me now? What shape does my soma take with these choices and tendencies in my life now. How does this feel? Living “at a distance from our bodies” while functional for survival often on many levels, keeps us from engaging deeply in our life and often from truly living to the depth of joy, pain, compassion and connection that we might long for.
To become somatically aware, we are given great insight into how our life truly feels right now and we can see things with greater clarity, maybe compassion and from there begin to envision where we want to go… what future we can envision that can bring us more expression of our truest self.
When we are at a distance from our bodies, we become confused about how to live our lives. To change how we are means changing how we act, it requires a different way of organizing how we feel, act, sense and perceive. To embody new actions, we move into the realm of practices that reshape and transform how we actually are, not just the idea or desire of who we are.
– Richard Strozzi Heckler “The Art of Somatic Coaching”
Breathwork can be used to calm the nervous system, relax the body and bring you into the present moment. Breathwork can also be so energizing for your body and mind!
Box Breathing is a simple practice that can help build resilience, a sense of calm quickly and effectively. The visual makes it an easy-to-remember tool to have in your back pocket for when you need a big shift or to come into the present moment.
To date, my favourite explanation of somatic therapy is from generative somatics elder Staci Haines:
The word Somatics comes from the Greek root soma which means “the living body in its wholeness.” It’s the best word we’ve come up with in English to understand human beings as integrated mind/body/spirit, or a psycho-biology. This understanding is that people are not mind over matter (“if I think differently I will be different”), nor matter over mind or spirit (“a change in chemistry or medication will wholly change my experience”), rather we are all of these things combined – we are thinking and conceptual, we are emotional, we are biological, and we are spiritual. Somatics approaches people as this integrated whole, working with all of these aspects of who we are.
Perhaps what is most unique about Somatics is that it integrates the body (ourselves from the neck down) as an essential place of change, learning and transformation. You can think of it like muscles having memory and the tissues having intelligence. We have learned a more objectifying or dissociated view of the body as a pile of bones and tendons we think of as a science project.
Somatics looks at the body as a place of evolutionary intelligence and learning. Somatics sees the “self” or who we are as inseparable from the psycho-biology. Of course, the mind and body are never really separate (a mind cannot live without a body and vice versa) but we certainly try to operate as if they are. When we reconnect the vast intelligence of the body with the mind and spirit, powerful things happen.
Somatic Resilience
We are inherently resilient beings, with this strength embedded deep within our “soma,” a result of three billion years of evolutionary wisdom. In a somatic sense, resilience is our innate ability to shift from states of hyper-alertness and reactivity—always on the lookout for danger—to a more serene, resourceful, and connected state of being. This transition helps us stay present, envision brighter futures, and regain our sense of safety, connection, and dignity.
Resilience also serves as our beacon during times of oppression and trauma, guiding us through the most challenging moments and nurturing our happiness, connection, and well-being. We are naturally resilient and creative individuals, and our communities reflect these qualities. There are numerous practices that can help us foster resilience within ourselves, our loved ones, our organizations, and our communities. By embracing and cultivating resilience, we invite strength, wholeness, possibility, and healing into our lives.
There can be a subtle difference between resilience strategies and survival tactics. Resilience practices foster a sense of connection, openness, and safety. They prepare us to take positive steps toward a better future, allowing us to experience a fuller range of emotions and sensations, making us feel more alive instead of numb.
Survival strategies, while often necessary and effective, can leave us feeling numb, tense, and detached. Although these tactics might feel familiar or “safe,” they often disconnect us, restrict our actions and interactions, and make us feel less complete.
This distinction is relevant in our personal lives, communities, and social movements. While both collective resilience and survival strategies have supported us, it is our shared resilience that propels us toward hope, interdependence, collective action, and the vision of the future we aspire to create.
I just have recently discovered in my journey of body love, and self-love that there are three separate components to my health right now. My food, my exercise, and the metrics of my health (age, size, chemical makeup, hormones, skin, energy levels). By separating these three things, I could see that I have a different relationship with each of these parts of me and it helps me feel less overwhelmed by an overall concept of: I’d like to take better care of myself.
The metrics of my body are separate from but totally connected to my food and exercise. But I notice that if I can look at my body like a scientist and just see where I’m at, I can make a choice about where I’d like to be. I can see how my body is doing from a more objective level and see if there are ways of shifting those measures towards more beneficial states. An example is looking at my energy levels through just the lens of the metrics. I can collect data on what things might affect my energy: caffeine, sleep, exercise, the foods I eat, and stress levels. With research, we can see data on how our energy can be in our control on some levels and there are things to be curious about. What’s realistic for me? What are low-hanging fruits that I can try in terms of increasing my energy? This might help me think about my sleep habits or more exercise or less sugar just from that scientific angle. I feel curious, not attached or emotional about it. I wonder what might be possible for me and what’s not realistic, what I could think about more later.
Another metric that I’ve been curious about is joint pain. For example, when I exercise, my joints feel amazing. Specifically, when I bike, my knee pain is reduced to almost 0 from a pain level of 5 or 6 somedays. This is highly motivating for me to get on the bike and enjoy a ride because I enjoy the experience of pain-free knees so much. There’s no drama, it feels like an objective metric of how my body supports itself in healing, lubricating my joints, circulation, etc. I can support that process and meet my body in optimizing it’s own process.
Exercise has been something of a journey for me in my life. I grew up as an athlete and as an adult I have grappled, like so many of us, to find the time, focus, and dedication to my body feeling fit, healthy, and excited to move. This process of taking the metrics of my body and my relationship with food OUT of the equation helps me to look at exercise more cleanly. What do I like to do? What can my body do right now? What can I fit into my days and weeks so that I can enjoy my body and show up for how great it feels to take care of myself in this way?
The alternative for me was to remember how fit I used to be playing soccer four nights a week in my 20’s and lament over my lack of time, mobility or speed, and skill that I have today. What a losing game that line of thinking is! I can just feel my body shut down and quit as soon as I start thinking that way. As we age, we get to learn to come to terms with where we are at right now. There might be some grief, loss, or frustration involved. But what else is there but to adjust and see what we CAN do right now? There are so many amazing and fun alternatives to movement, being outdoors, playing and loving our bodies. If we can create some distance from any angst we feel along the way, we can still show up to the smallest amounts of exercise and movement that help us create habits and baselines that feel actually fun. Notice how good it feels to move and you’ll find yourself showing up more and more. Mini habits and taking the pressure off. A walk a day can feel life-altering!
Food. Oh, food! What a deeply fraught topic this is, for all of us! If you feel peace in this area of your life, I celebrate you! I have a relationship with food that is ever-evolving and I am happy to do the work to separate my relationship with food from exercise and the metrics of my body. While they are deeply intertwined, I like to see food for just food whenever I can. I practice looking at my food choices and habits from the perspective of mindfulness, noticing hunger, wondering what will be the best fuel for my body, and being as aware as possible. I am not going to go into any ins and outs here with food habits but I will say that it really, really helps me to allow my food choices not to overly influence my feelings or thoughts about exercise or my health metrics. I feel calmer and steadier and happier. When food is food, exercise is exercise and my size/body/health/pain is just what it is, I feel less overwhelmed and more optimistic. I have less black and white thinking. I know that am doing my best and I can still carry on with my habits in other areas that serve me best today! It doesn’t matter to my workout plan that I just ate a bowl of ice cream, I can still hop on the bike and do my thing.
This is something that helps me stay clear on my goals and know there are so many ways that I AM supporting my body and that I can celebrate all that I AM doing to have a healthy body today and every day.
Let’s practice being so kind to ourselves! Take it easy and do the next baby step towards what feels good for you.
Along with all of the fascinating lessons and changes that life continually brings, I wanted to share with you some of the deep peace I have felt in the gift of travel after so long.
The sights and smells and sounds… the richness of being in a totally new place. The colors!
I wish I could feel this wonder in my every day. I long to cultivate a practice to hear my own songbirds with the same new ears of delight and wonder that a tropical beach could bring.
I would love to imagine my feet in my shoes in the rain to be just as intriguing as the feeling of walking on soft white sand.
We have this one precious life and all of these experiences and choices to make. I wonder what will call my soul to come to explore and dive in and dance next?
I want to keep my heart open to the possibilities of wonder, of colors and textures and possibilities.
In this type of renewal, I can feel brand new like a beginner at this life, while deeply grounding in the knowledge that I am whole and me, I am me!
And from this place, the world around me richer, my heart is so much more open to everyone and everything around me. This feels like living whole-heartedly.
So much change. After living alone with just my son and I, my partner and his kiddos moved in. Such a wonderful soup of blending, merging, snuggles, and compromise. We have discovered so much sweetness alongside so many adjustments!
The overwhelm of change has fleshed out in mysterious and fascinating ways.
I think that with any change, no matter the quality or desire and willingness to evolve, there is also loss. I am a person who has adapted well to having many long nights on my own, puttering, self-caring in ways that unfold naturally. Lots of space have I had over these years of widowhood and solo-mama hood. Lots of natural healing time, alongside the loneliness that can bring. Yet, it’s how I’ve been in most of my motherhood.
What I have realized since this big merge, is that I am in desperate need of sacred space, rituals, and routines that connect me to me. In a two-bedroom home with three boys, two adults, and a dog, I have found myself delighted to be locked in the bathroom with my morning coffee and my journal a few times. Ha! I am a creative soul. I’ll get my quiet where I can.
I began to read Mark Nepo’s teachings this year and his commitment to cultivating that deep relationship with your soul self has really stuck with me. How important it is to befriend yourself, what that looks like only you can know. But you must create the intention and willingness to go there to discover it. Whether it’s going to nature or just sitting to be in silence. I feel there is nothing as important as knowing yourself so that your life can unfold with the intentions that you deeply long for in life: peace, happiness, resilience, open-heartedness, compassion, whatever those things are for you. Whatever helps you feel truly YOU, your spark within, that deep inner candle that flickers and sometimes holds steady, so strong. That deep knowing.
When we are connected to that, we can be more at peace in our human lives. It’s beautiful really because alongside that flame can live our deepest sorrows but also our deepest joy. I have felt this profoundly in my grief healing journey and creating the space to hold myself wherever I am at is crucial for me. I crave it and long for it.
So I knew I would need to find my space in this new dynamic of my life.
As the seasons changed and my massage hut in my backyard no longer felt viable weather-wise this year, there was my solution for a space for me to rest, read, meditate and hold my morning routine. I am committed to a morning ritual that is an evolving set of things that fuel my mental, physical and spiritual health. I have been delighted to work on tiny habits like just getting my journal out and seeing what happens or just stepping on a yoga mat to stretch and see how my body feels like moving. No presh, I’m learning to just show up.
When I hold this morning space for myself, I am more at ease in my life, centered, grounded. I have more capacity to take on the day with joy and self-awareness.
It feels so beautiful to be here. A gift to myself each day.
I have some seriously vulnerable things to share with you!!! I just survived my worst nightmare and am living to tell you about it…. Healing through sharing…here goes.
I just went on a tropical beach vacation with my favorite people in the world…in my most voluptuous body of my life in a swimsuit.
That’s it!
I’m embarrassed to say that this to me was an actual nightmare.
My body was living this as if I were going to die. I was not ready for this.
It was dawning on me that this intense amount of body shame I have had for myself my whole life was a real, living thing. I knew that I was a product of our Western world’s diet body-shame culture. But this felt so over the top here.
Packing and preparing for this trip was completely anxiety-producing – almost debilitating. I was having panic attacks and couldn’t sleep. And I was about to go to paradise and be with my best friends to have the time of our life.
My head could find little logic in any of this.
I am actually a LOVER of people in every way, all shapes and sizes. I massage and touch people every day and adore bodies. I geek out on healing and am fascinated by nearly every single thing about our amazing human experience through this lens.
I appreciate my clients in all of their ways of being. Always. Never a judgment or harsh thought on any of the thousands of butts and legs and tummies and backs I’ve seen.
Bodies are beautiful, all shapes, sizes, and versions of any of us and I know that those bodies change. I really love watching people evolve and hold them with so much compassion and love.
So WHAT is happening here?
Why this stress, lady?!
I am going to my best friend’s wedding. On an island.
First of all, I’m so grateful and feeling majorly privileged to be able to go. It’s a pandemic, first of all. Super complicated, I haven’t been on a plane in how long?
Plus, I really never imagined this kind of trip for a girl like me. The Bahamas feels like… pretty fancy. It’s a dream! I should be so excited, elated, over the moon.
Yet here I was TRIPPING OUT on how much my body had changed since I’d seen these friends. I used to be this, I used to be that. I used to be an athlete, younger, ready to do some sprints, whatever comes with all those things! Now I have thicker thighs and cellulite in weird places and a lot of extra.
“What will they think?” felt like a real, painful conundrum. How would I feel with my body posted to pictures online? Any picture, swimsuit or not. “Gosh, what will people think of me?!?”
I’m just not digging my body right now, how would they?
Wow.
I can’t believe I care and I can’t believe the power of these messages.
I know that what others think is none of my business.
Yet apparently my Buddhist-natured practices of self-love had never been able to crack this nut of self-shame and loathing.
The body-positive movement had really not undone any of this fear, panic, self-judgment.
I love myself. I do.
I thought I did!
But when put to the tropical island test, I was panicking, dieting, freaking out.
I saw what was happening and I realized that this was not me living my best life here. This is not me at my core.
At 45 years old, what I want is to thrive in my body and be unconditionally in love with this amazing life that I’m living, this healthy body with all of its flaws, curves, aches, and age. I want to live this deep knowing that I am actually a being of love energy. I am whole, complete, and lovely just as I am! I am ME! Unconditionally awesome and beautiful ME!
Other people see me for my beauty, why is this difficult to see myself?
So, I realize that I am so done with this.
Done with the pain of dieting, fantasies, and not loving who I am, wherever I am, however I am. I am done with the self-shame.
I am ready to change and learn how to love myself.
I am decided.
Yet I didn’t even know where to start.
I literally didn’t even know how to start loving myself.
Me, Katy, who has watched a million teachers’ videos, podcasts, speakers, friends talk and guide on self-love, body appreciation…all the lessons and truth and wisdom that I “know”.
Yet here I was at the starting line with myself, a total beginner.
What did I do? I chose a starting point.
I thought of all the small things that were in my control that I could do in the next month before the trip that helped me to feel beautiful, see my beauty, appreciate my body, my shape, and find my glow.
I budgeted some self-love energy and bought new earrings, some beautiful dresses. I got a facial and waxed my wiley brows (a once every 4 year event:). I browsed plus-sized swimsuits to appreciate the beauty of all sizes of bodies and ordered and tried on 30 swimsuits that were bangin’ on a curvy body. Gorgeous prints and styles that I knew I’d love to rock, not just my standard black suit. I got a tan against the advice of said esthetician.
I practiced visualizing myself on the beach among my friends, living adventures that were full of pure joy, self-appreciation, and presence. It was incredibly difficult to do at first with the compassion I was longing for. But I practiced over and over, loving me in my clothes, loving myself, my hair, my body, my movements, my strength. I focused on the gratitude I have for my amazing health and rad strong body.
I have an incredible partner right now who adores me, loves my body as it is, loves me for me. I know this. I practiced hearing this and seeing through those eyes.
I practiced distancing myself from my thoughts about myself and just letting myself BE. Be present. Just BE, girl. Chillllll.
I worked with my therapist on this in a deep somatic way, what does it feel like to have that love for yourself no matter what, where does that love live in your body? What does it feel like when another loves you unconditionally and can you receive that love and appreciation? When do I feel beautiful and what does that really feel like?
I worked with a coach who helps me to change my thoughts around things like really understanding that our beliefs shape our reality. Time to undo these thoughts that keep me feeling terrible, that keep me small and ashamed in my body. To really expand on those thoughts that help me feel powerful, engaged, present, alive, happy, grateful…. How do I WANT to think and feel about myself and my life? Practice that!
So… I went on the friggin’ trip! I was overjoyed to be staying in a beach house with not only friends who were family to me but included two of my most gorgeous friends who happen to both be incredibly fit yoginis. I delighted in this gift from the universe, to do this self-love work under these conditions. Ha!
We arrived. I stripped down, put on my suit, and rocked the self-love like a zen badass for a week! Playing, dancing, paddle boarding, jumping off of rock walls in my swimsuit and my curves and all of me all week. I was able to completely let go of my fears, my judgments of self, and just BE. I would hear whispers of the old voices, the shame or shoulds, regrets, and fears about my body and health. It felt like such old news compared to paradise. Like, give me a BREAK, small thinking.
I was able to adjust and just be. I could immerse myself in these moments of the present moment. So much love, so much fun and delight.
All of the work I had done finally took hold, the letting go had finally happened. My starting block self-love steps set me on a path of so much appreciation for my body that I won’t go back. I just refuse to hate this body anymore. I refuse to get that distracted about what’s important to me. I know what really matters. It’s time to love me. It’s time to be 45 right now and just be right where I’m at, who I am right now. Me, beautiful me!
My loving friends who are like family to me embraced me as I am (of course!!) and I survived (of course!). This trip wasn’t about me or my body after all. It was about my dear friends’ wedding, the love, the friends, our community, these incredible people and connections. Total magic. This was a soul-filling journey of self-love and adventure. It was about connection to my son, our family, our friends and community who are all of my son’s reminders of his dad, my late husband… an immersion into love. None of which had anything to do with my shape or size.
Don’t we just live in a total mind-fuck of a culture where you can be dieting your whole life?! I see it clearly and I am done. I’m ON TO YOU, B.S. body-shaming culture. It’s total baloney.
There are so many other peaceful, amazing, expansive ways to approach health, change, and loving ourselves to wellness that I am choosing a different path. I will continue to delight in this journey and share and expand this message of love.
I am sharing all of this now because it is SO COMMON, it is so deep and we are nurtured to hate ourselves. We are conditioned to see our deficits and try to force ourselves to be different, resist the beauty that we have in our differences and imperfections.
It’s time for me to share this and bare all because I feel like I’m done hiding and feeling any shame around this.
I am sharing this because on the outside, most people would NEVER guess that I have all of this inside of me, they come to me to help them love their bodies! I come across as incredibly high-functioning and well adjusted:) haha. I am but also…. I have, like all of us, this HUMAN HUMAN side. My wounded side, the shadows, the soft parts, the parts that we get to shine a light on. I am ready and wanted to share my heart and soul because vulnerability is so frigging healing.
I am on a continuous journey to find my healthiest self, mind, body, and spirit. We meet ourselves, all the parts of us right where they are.
I am committed to loving myself just as I am in each moment. I look forward to more movement, healthy eating, laughter, play, and so much love.
Starting with me and my love for myself always.
Let’s do this, people! Let’s change the way that we think about our bodies together and love on all of our differences. I am new to this, which feels shocking to me, totally exciting, and also scares the shit out of me. I am new to sharing so vulnerably that it feels also paralyzing. I’m scared to offend anyone, to turn anyone off. But I love you, and I’m just going to say F* it and hit send!
Andrew is warm, safe, engaging, committed to your health goals; and his massages are AMAZING!! Just supremely relaxing, knows the best depth of pressure, and each session is specifically tailored to your needs. He comes to us with a full and happy clientele with all of the intuitive listening skills and informed presence that you know as Rise Up Massage! I knew Andrew was the one I could trust to send my favorite people to, and I’m SO stoked that you get to bask in his professional talents too.
Get to know him a little better in this conversation between Andrew Bailey and Katy Cañete.
Andrew Through my experience in the military, I learned to appreciate the little things and the true value of hard work; which was really great and inspiring at such a young age. Showing up for people around me, working together to get the mission accomplished, and plenty of teamwork opportunities. It’s a lot of selfless acts and attention to detail in the service. With massage, you have to value your craft, be intentional with your word and actions, and always go the extra mile. I’m grateful to show up for my clients each and every day.
Katy I would also say that your tidying is spectacular…military clean. I don’t know if that’s always been a part of you. Were you always so tidy?
Andrew My father was, therefore my brothers and I were. He was a former Army officer, and everything was done with attention to detail.
Katy Oh, got it. So you grew up that way?
Andrew Oh, yeah. Had to clean things with a toothbrush and everything.
Katy How did the military shape how you think about health and wellness?
Andrew Obviously, they value taking good care of yourself. You had to be ready at any given moment. I always tried to show up for myself to the best that I could. Being human, we all ebb and flow and have our moments where sometimes we’re just on it, and other times struggling.
The military definitely laid a baseline for me early in life. Working out early in the mornings, and there was always a lot of running. So I was definitely a runner back then, but not so much now. I enjoy lifting weights and casual bike rides now. Neighborhood walks and stopping to take the occasional photos. Wellness takes on a different meaning than it did for me even just 15 years ago. Nowadays I value and view myself better; with a strong focus on my mental wellbeing and quality time with strong, supportive people who care about me.
Katy And when you came out of the military, remind me how you got interested in massage school.
Andrew I was actually in the middle of my contract with the Army National Guard when I ended up jumping into the massage field. I signed up for the service when I was 18, and a freshman at the UW. When I got into massage school I was about 21 years old. I just decided to step away from college after a few years to pursue a trade school. Lo and behold, here I am.
Katy Here you are!
Andrew I felt lost when I was in college in my early years. I worked hard to get into a great institution; parents made it seem like you needed to go to college to get a great job and set yourself up financially. I didn’t know who I was, or what I wanted as a student at the UW. It was nice to step away on my own and intentionally decide to pursue something that felt right. I could help and heal other people, and there’s nothing better than helping your community. So, it’s very rewarding what we do as massage practitioners/therapists. I’ve always been a hands-on type of person, and I enjoy being able to be there for people. That’s just who I am, naturally. So, being able to just show up and help people every day, it’s a nice little cherry on top of this thing we call life. I’m grateful for what I get to do.
Katy That’s really cool. Was there anything about massage school that totally surprised you?
Andrew Not necessarily. There were a lot of people that were wired like me, very hands-on and natural healers. A thirst for healing and treating people. I enjoyed my graduating class; all very heartfelt, and good people. It opened my eyes up to the variety of other people out there because there are some really cool people in the healing arts, man. I was having a good time just getting to meet, learn, and grow with some of those people. I still chit-chat with some of them today.
Katy What do you love the most about the clients that you work with?
Andrew It’s kind of similar, but the variety. We’re all so different, but in so many ways, we’re all so similar. That’s what’s really fun. You get to meet people where they’re at. I like when people are truly raw, authentic, and kind. It’s just getting to be real with people, that’s a pleasure. Seattle’s demographic has changed so much, even in the short 11 years I’ve been in practice. It’s great to get to meet people not just from other parts of the U.S., but the world.
We have to create such a space of warmth, safety, and security. I love being able to foster that for people. It helps people relax more, and it really brings out some positive and great conversations. Touch is really powerful, and I don’t ever take that for granted what I can provide. I wake up many mornings and remind myself I’m grateful for what I do. To be able to make physical, mental, and emotional impacts on those in the community is truly a gift I get every day.
Katy So cool. That’s great. How do you generally feel in your body?
Andrew Hmmm, I’m working on being more present with myself. I have a tendency to not really sit with my thoughts enough, and I definitely am not the best at addressing my own personal needs. If I’m being honest, right now I struggle with my own self-confidence issues and making myself a priority. I’ve stepped away from really focusing on what I need, and putting in that hard shadow work. I’m a work in progress, but like many of us out there, some days I’m on, and some days I can feel a bit off.
Katy What does it feel like when you’re “off?”
Andrew Your heart and mind aren’t really talking to each other. I realize that I don’t take enough time to just sit with myself, as much as I should. To meditate and think through, “how am I feeling in my body?” Just being more present, practicing mindfulness, and really asking, “Why is my body saying this to me?” I know what I need to do. I just need to be kinder to myself on this journey I’m on in my own life.
Katy What are the things that you tend to do for yourself when you think of it?
Andrew I used to be really good about getting massages almost weekly. Now I try to maintain my body’s needs with at least one massage a month. At home, I try to be really good about doing some PT exercises I was prescribed for a chronic ailment I’ve been having. Sometimes showing up for myself is just going for a walk, taking photos, hopping on the bike, visiting friends, playing with my nieces, or spending time with my partner. I want to start getting into yoga, and in the new year, I want to try some pilates classes. I do enjoy getting on the floor and stretching. Foam roller is a great tool for many soft tissue injuries, that and my trusty lacrosse ball.
Katy And you have your massage gun.
Andrew I do, yeah, the percussion tool. I definitely rock that thing. Sometimes, if I have some free time between clients, it’s nice to just stretch. I’m always stretching out my forearms and hands as they take the brunt of what we do, as you know. I try to do some hydrotherapy, so I’ll do hot-cold therapies at home. Just some things to try and keep everything fine-tuned so I’m capable of showing up at my best.
Katy How does your vegan lifestyle play into your wellness or your sense of wellness?
Andrew Since I made that decision a little over two years ago, I definitely feel amazing about my decision. It was a change brought on thanks to my partner who’s been vegan for many many years now. Like many of us, I was raised to consume animals growing up. Not making the ethical connection to what was on my plate. I always said I loved animals as a kid, and yet here I was eating them. I watched a really hard, yet impactful documentary on YouTube called “Dominion.” After watching that, that was it. I had transitioned from what was already a consistent plant-based diet, to being fully vegan. There’s no greater joy than acknowledging our furry friends and allowing them the opportunity to live full lives. I’m no greater than them, and I will continue to be a voice for the voiceless.
Katy How does that play into your sense of wellness?
Andrew To me, it’s more of an ethical thing. Especially now that I know those choices that I was making. When you make a decision to go vegan, it’s a selfless act. It’s more of just respecting animals. I grew up loving animals and wanting to be a Veterinarian, and then making the decision to pursue other avenues in college, and then, of course, the military, and now massage, but I always had a love for animals. Just makes me feel good trying to be more ethically-minded towards them.
So, I wouldn’t necessarily chalk it up to like a “wellness thing.” It’s just another way of eating and being. I don’t eat really any different than what I was eating before, except I’m a little bit more mindful about what I put in my body. Now I’ve just gotten used to living the lifestyle. When you meet other people that have chosen to be kind to animals, it’s pretty awesome, because you kind of feel like you’re part of this niche club, in a way. We live in a very agricultural, animal meat-hungry society which isn’t gonna change anytime soon. So I know I’m kind of an outlier to the norm. I hope as time passes, more people understand the impact of their choices when they decide to eat animal flesh. They are beautiful, and they think, feel, and love just like you or I.
Katy Switching lanes, how does it feel to be a practitioner of color, and how does that play out in the massage world? As a practitioner, and then also with clients?
Andrew At my last job, they researched the numbers on who decides to go to schools, such as physical therapy school or massage school, and other healthcare areas. BIPOC numbers are way down.
Katy For BIPOC practitioners?
Andrew Yes, for many reasons that I won’t get into today, but it’s very much because of things such as, redlining, white privilege, and many of our social justice issues that have plagued this country for way too long.
My being a therapist of color hasn’t changed the way I go about what I do, or how others have interacted with me. I grew up half black/half white, and am used to just seeing me, the man. I’m not defined by my skin color, but I do recognize my own privileges I’ve had that many others have not had. I made a decision to be here, but I’m grateful that I had the institutions around, and the fortitude to network with those that I admired. I do represent a small percentage of BIPOC practitioners in the Seattle area, and I will continue to be a great, professional example for others.
I honestly didn’t really think too much of my being a mixed-race man going into this field. I am who I am, and will deliver my talents to anyone that seeks them. There’s still plenty more I’ve got to learn about the BIPOC community out there. I don’t care what your designation is, or what color you are, as long as you’re a good person. Sometimes you don’t vibe with everybody. I’m to the point now in my life where I know that that’s okay. I’m not supposed to please everybody.
Katy Right. Has that stretched your boundaries of your sense of inclusivity, about working with other types of people?
Andrew Sure. Seattle is a progressive area with many people with unique backgrounds. I’ve always been really grateful for being here. Definitely this last year, it’s opened my eyes a great deal about my own privileges, and opportunities. In my time here in Seattle you’re going to see some people of color, but not many that have been forced out by racial gentrification. Seattle is quite expensive, and unfortunately not affordable for many, many, many people out there. I do wish in time we see more diversity in this city and absolutely more affordable housing that insists on having more families of the BIPOC community. I’d love for the opportunity to work with more and more people from diverse, ethnic backgrounds.
Katy Well, and I know it’s hard for BIPOC folks to find practitioners of color. Or people who really understand their bodies or their social situations or role and place in society, or that feeling of somebody really “getting them.” Do you feel like that plays into your work? I guess you’re mostly working with white people.
Andrew I try not to overthink it. I mean, it’d be nice to be able to reach out to everybody, but we can only do so much. I think it’s great that we’re at least a business open to anybody and everybody. A safe space for anyone. That’s the beautiful thing about massage and what I bring. A human touch that comes from a place of understanding and a willingness to learn more from each and every individual. There’s a broader question of, how would we be able to reach out and get to some of these groups.
Katy Well, it sounds like it’s also not as much of a priority for you to find practitioners for yourself of color, or is that something that you think about?
Andrew At the end of the day, all I care about is are you good at what you do? You know? Are you a good person? Do you treat me with respect? I’m not trying to go out of my way necessarily to seek other professionals of color, except my barber in South Seattle. I do enjoy networking with other BIPOC professionals, of course, and welcome that. I don’t fall into the category where I only want to see such-and-such people. I know some people feel that way, or subconsciously make those choices, but that’s just not who I am. Based on just where we live, again, if you’re going to seek any sort of practitioner, more than likely, they’re probably going to be white, and I’m okay with that. I understand where I live. I’m also just like many other people and seek out businesses around me out of convenience. During 2020, definitely more people were better about wanting to go support Black businesses, and that was awesome. But like with many things, it was just the trendy thing to do, be, and support. I’m sure people are back to their usual ways by now, unfortunately.
Katy Totally. Gosh, there are these moments in time, right, where things kind of open up and awareness expands, hopefully. And there’s always expansion and contraction.
Andrew Yeah, I’m anxious to see things moving forward. But we, as a society, we’re so quick to just keep going back to what we’re used to and what we’re comfortable with. It’s just human nature. It’s what makes us feel safe.
Katy Well, as practitioners, too, and as this business, we have the opportunity to keep that awareness there, staying open, and really welcoming people, and focusing on how to welcome a more diverse massage crowd. And also just how to reach more people that maybe don’t have the opportunity. So that’s a fun conversation to talk about, together.
Andrew It’s great. I think it’s wonderful to be able to reach out to any and all kinds of people. I’m a big believer, obviously, in what we do and what we can provide. Everybody needs a massage regimen, and I love that we have not just the talent, but the skills to give to our great community. I’m very happy to be associated with Rise Up Therapeutic Massage.
