Healing from a place of self- compassion

savs-0KHC0_X4GeU-unsplashDid you know that you are actually the one who knows your body the very best?

In countless hours I have spent with my clients who are experiencing pain, I see people who are coming to terms with being the one who is actually in charge of thier own healing. There’s a weight to that. It can feel like a lot to manage and deal with, especially managing the emotional aspects of this. Yes, there are absolutely doctors and plans and programs for your health. It starts of course, with having a wise and comprehensive health care team of advisors and people who can accurately asess and problem solve with you. I love when I see people tackling pesky, chronic issues with their health from a variety of angles. Here in Seattle, we are blessed with a culture of wellness and the number of providers and alternative health practitioners is quite awesome. You can start with one great referral, ask around and ask lots of questions, learn to trust your gut and go from there,  one step at a time.

I have seen clients with chronic neck pain, nerve pain, low back pain… so many issues that feel like they have a clear beginning but no real timeline of progress that you can hold on to.  There are things that work and things that work for just a bit. There are appointments and exercises, stretches, new approaches and self-care to dos. How do you manage all of this without getting overwhelmed and discouraged? You feel like who is actually in charge with the right answers and how are we going to fix this thing?!?!

To start, I would propose that coming at this from a place of peace can help in every way. What does this even mean? Well, as out-of-your-hands as healing can often feel, what is in your hands? You, my friend, are in charge of your inner environment, your perspective, your sense of self and what it feels like to be you in this body. You know this, noone else. Your experience is deep and informed for what it is like to be you. What can we work with here?

I would invite you to look at your healing and look at some of the beliefs around your pain and healing. Write them down. Be real. This pain frigging sucks because…. get it all out. Do you feel like this will never end? Do you feel like you were lead astray? Are you pissed that you can’t play your sport or even get through the day comfortably? Are you blaming yourself? Do you feel betrayed by your body?  GET. IT. OUT. Listen and observe. Write it down and take a look at the situation your mind is in, the subconscious that is at play all day here in the background. So tough. I’m so sorry that it is hard and it’s so good to give yourself a hug of compassion for that. Like, REALLY. Be kind to yourself for what you are going through, the losses, the complications and stress and costs.

Next, can you find a place of nuture for yourself that feels warm, comfortable, quiet, still? If you meditate regularly, you are familiar with this space but sometimes we get so stuck in our heads its hard to turn the noise down. We forget the noise is on full volume sometimes. Can you sit even in your car before you open the door and get out… wherever you can give yourself a mini-break to tune in. Take a big fat breath, really, really deep breath.

Now with your hand on your heart, say:

I am in pain. I am feeling down (insert:  angry, mad, stressed, bummed, etc) about this.  

Everyone feels pain. Everyone feels down at times.

It’s okay to feel pain. It’s okay to feel down

Give yourself a few breaths in this still space that you’ve created where it’s okay to be human. It’s okay to feel flawed and down and out and hopeless. Injury is hard. Recovery is hard. Maybe this is all you need is a little love for a sec.

AND… then if you’re up for it…

In this space,  see if there is another way of looking at this. What are you willing to let go of here?  Yes, it totally sucks when your body can’t do what it wants to do comfortably. Look at the beliefs you stated before all of that suff that’s under the surface about this pain. Is there anything that you’re ready to release? What thoughts and beliefs about this situation can just go? Take a few deep breaths and see if that is possible. Breathing deeply, notice the thought for a moment and release it into the ethers. Breathe it out and let it go. Are there any shifts with that releasing?

If you sit with how your body is, just is in this moment, where can you find acceptance?

Can you find areas of your body to simply observe the sensations without any labels, judgement or trying to change it?

Are there any benefits that you’ve gleaned from this injury, any hidden gems from this path that you didn’t intend to be on?

Can you let go of any expectations, find more patience, less grip on the timeline?

You might try this and just see where it takes you. I have been fascinated with the transformations that have happened in myself with this type of self-compassion. This here is my hug to you, oh dear one who is suffering at times within this ol’ bag of bones. Our bodies are so amazing, dynamic, magical. Your body will appreciate every ounce of compassion that you send to it and the heart housed within. BIG HUGS to you!

Love, Katy

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