What a time, what a week, what a year. As I’ve been working with clients through the pandemic and this week more than ever, I’ve noticed people really longing for stability and security in their lives. My clients are grasping for a deeper sense of how to frame what is happening outside of them, in the world as they feel the effect of events outside themselves.
So here we are in the weirdest year ever.
Many of the things in our lives that we previously thought of as steady and fixed have now proven to be a source of unknown variability and uncertainty.
Our commutes, routines, schools, our work environment and our social circles…
Our sense of safety in the outside world, our health, social and political layers of reckoning…
there is so much change and fragility.
We find ourselves joking about what’s the next surprise as we assess these collective previously unfathomable shifts to our day to day.
Can we just take a moment on that note and breathe? We have to give that a minute and not just simply move on to the next, you know?
I just want to acknowledge your heart in this, your body and mind, this incredible being that you are that is ultimately HERE, alive and somehow still functioning, rebalancing and adjusting to SO. MANY. CHANGES! It’s quite incredible isn’t it?
So…
What I am seeing is this deep collective longing for stability, security, and safety; for a sense of control and for things that we can count on. Feeling into the notions of consistency and routine is soothing, isn’t it? Ahhh. Routine. Predictability.
Our bodies settle, our nervous system can shift from that high alert state into a deeper, calmer sense of self. This is a mind shift and it is so physiological because we are animals! We have a gift as human animals that we can consciously shift our bodies into that relaxed state of the parasympathetic nervous system that is where we rest, digest and settle. Where we heal, nurture and return to our own inner safety. This is such a gift of being human and it takes attention and practice, especially in times like these.
How can we cultivate this deep sense of stability and security within ourselves?
1. First tune into what is within your realm of control and what is not.*
Write down those things that really are out of your hands. Things not in your control might be what others say or what they think about you. These are things that we’ll find our way to peace with, release them to the universe, go on a walk, find your own ways to surrender to what is in those realms.
2. What is within your control?
When we see that we do have ways that we are in control over our bodies, our home environment, how we operate, we can begin to shift our attention to what we need. You are in control of your inner realm, some of your thoughts and focus, your next step, your next action.
3. What do you need in your life right now?
If it is this deep sense of stability, start to notice in your life where stability shows up, where you feel secure and what brings you a sense of safety. This can be from things like your budget, your warm home, the car that gets you to and fro, your family, your adoring pet, the tall swaying trees outside of your window. It can be simple and small.
4. Next, how can you call more stability and security into your life?
Write down ways that you can create more and more stability in the near future in your home, social networks, financial life, your routines or health. This might be by calling a friend more regularly, taking a regular walk or learning a new skill that would feel stabilizing for your future.
What we put our attention to expands! Look at this list in the mornings, when you are feeling anxious or when you want some reminders of how deep that well is inside of you.
Your journal prompts…
Things that I cannot control:
Things that I can control:
I have stability in my life in these ways:
I am calling more stability into my life everyday in these ways:
Warm hugs to you on this blustery fall day here in Seattle.
Big love,
Katy
*I would like to give a nod to one of my favorite authors and speakers, Gay Hendricks who uses a process around the things I can control/can’t control in his book The Joy of Genius, which I highly recommend.
Photo Credits: Johannes Plenio & Aaron Burden