Author: Rise Up Admin

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it really means to sit with someone. Not fix them. Not cheerlead. Just be—long enough, quiet enough, curious enough to feel what’s really happening in the space between you. I had the gift of spending extra time recently with a young family member who moves through the world differently, and the slower rhythm of our days reminded me what co-regulation actually feels like. When we tuned into each other, I could feel both of our systems soften. It was like my nervous system saying, thank goodness you’re here and not trying to change me.

I notice this with my son, too—how different it feels when I’m trying to push him versus when I partner with him. His whole body tells the story. In one mode, he shuts down completely; in the other, he lights up, silly and delighted. Sometimes I don’t even notice what shifted until I’ve already lost the thread of connection. But when I do catch it, the difference is striking.

Co-regulation is one of those healing buzzwords that gets tossed around a lot, but in the somatic world, it’s not just a nice idea—it’s a biological need. Our nervous systems are wired to find safety in relationship. When someone meets us with calm, kindness, or curiosity, our body reads it as “I’m safe”—and begins to unwind. That might look like soft eye contact, a slower breath, or a more grounded voice. It’s not about fixing or performing—it’s about presence. And even when nothing gets resolved, something meaningful still happens.

In a world that feels louder and more divided than ever, this practice of co-regulation can be quietly radical. Whether you’re sitting beside someone who sees things differently or breathing alongside your garden as it grows—this is how we stay connected. Not through perfection, but through the willingness to pause, to listen, and to meet each other where we are.

I’m reminded of that old water crystal experiment, where the structure of water shifted depending on how it was spoken to. Maybe our nervous systems are like that too—shaped not just by what happens to us, but by how we’re held. When we’re met with acceptance, even in our messiness, something inside us starts to reorganize toward healing.

Practice: 

So this week, I invite you to notice: Where are the small moments you can co-regulate with someone else? What does it feel like when someone offers you that kind of presence? What do you feel in their body, their voice, their way of being?

Hope you enjoy.

Much love,

Katy

A Gentle Practice of Being With Someone

One of my favorite things about relational somatics is how deep connection can exist just on the other side of everyday interactions. When we slow down and really notice someone, even a quick exchange can turn into a moment of magic—of being moved by another person’s world.

You might know the feeling: you’re in line at the store, you casually ask, “How are you?”—and the person actually answers. Something real slips through. You feel it land in you. For just a second, there’s presence, honesty, connection.

These moments can be breathtaking… and easy to brush past.

We’re busy. What do we even do with that feeling? So we move on.

But when we pause to notice these small openings, they become part of the inner fabric that holds us—reminders of our shared humanity. They don’t require big emotional processing. Just a breath. A soft recognition that something meaningful happened.

Sometimes we shut down or move away from connection, not even on purpose. It might feel too vulnerable or too intense. And sometimes we move toward it—our hearts opening, our systems softening. All of that is okay. All responses are valid. What matters is noticing what’s true for us in the moment, and remembering that we have choice. We can connect (or not) and that freedom is part of what makes connection feel safe.

When we practice noticing, gently, without pressure, we start to build new pathways. We realize that feeling more doesn’t mean we have to do more.

Connection doesn’t have to lead to a long conversation, emotional labor, or overwhelm. It can be a quiet breath, a glance, a shared moment of being human.

🌱 Why Practice Connection?

This might sound a little “out there” if you’re new here—ha! But if you know me, you know I live in the world of the heart. And truly, this is the deepest joy in my work: witnessing people feel seen, heard, and connected in a real way.

There’s nothing more precious than being trusted with someone’s truth; their story, their inner world, their tender heart.

And yet, in a culture that prizes independence and productivity, many of us are surrounded by people but still feel lonely. We’re wired for togetherness, but not always taught how to be together.

In some cultures, there’s built-in time for connection, like workers heading home for lunch with family. That kind of rhythm says: you matter, we matter. We can learn from that. We can remember the deep human longing for presence and bring it into our own daily lives, one small moment at a time.

🌱 A Way to Begin

Next time you’re with someone—your child, a friend, even yourself in the mirror—pause for a moment.
Notice their presence.
Sense your own breath.
Feel into the space between you.

What’s it like to just be with another person, without needing to fix or figure anything out?

Somatics teaches us that we don’t have to do this alone. We can meet the world while anchored in our own presence. It’s not about trying to change or perfect ourselves—it’s about expanding our capacity to feel, to connect, and to stay grounded as we do.

When we practice this kind of gentle noticing, we remember that being human is not a solo project. And that, in itself, is a beautiful thing to return to.

Love,

Katy

Finding Steadiness in Challenging Times: A Somatic Approach to Engaging with the World

In today’s political landscape, many of us are grappling with how much to engage with the news, how much to step back, and how to balance awareness with self-care. I hear this from clients and friends all the time—how do we honor our values of staying informed and empathetic while also tending to our own well-being?

One of the most important questions I’ve been asking myself lately is: What do I know about myself now?

With years of deepening my understanding of nervous system regulation, I’ve come to recognize that my ability to engage with challenging issues is directly tied to my ability to first anchor in steadiness, safety, and connection.

Before taking in the world, I need to first take in myself.

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A Somatic Check-In: Finding Your Center

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about how much to engage with the news, social media, or difficult conversations, try this simple check-in:

1. Pause & Orient
   
   • Look around your space. Name 5 things you see. Feel where you are in this moment.
   • Let your eyes rest on something neutral or pleasant. Let your breath settle.
2. Notice Your Body
   
   • Where do you feel sensation? Is there tightness, buzzing, constriction, or a sense of ease?
   • Do you feel grounded in your seat or feet?
3. Ask Yourself:
   
   • Do I feel steady, open, and curious?
   • Or do I feel tight, activated, and tense?
   • Do I have the capacity to take in more right now, or do I need to tend to myself first?

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The 8 Cs of IFS: A Guide to Self-Connection Before Engaging

To determine if you’re in a good place to engage with the world, check in with these 8 qualities of Self-energy from Internal Family Systems (IFS). When we are connected to Self, we feel:

• Calm – Is my nervous system settled, or am I agitated?
• Clarity – Am I thinking clearly, or am I caught in reactivity or confusion?
• Curiosity – Am I engaging from a place of openness, or am I locked into fear or frustration?
• Compassion – Can I hold my feelings and others’ perspectives with kindness?
• Confidence – Do I feel steady in myself, or do I feel shaken?
• Courage – Can I engage with what’s happening without collapsing or shutting down?
• Creativity – Can I imagine solutions, or do I feel stuck in hopelessness?
• Connectedness – Do I feel like part of something bigger, or do I feel isolated?

If you feel disconnected from these qualities, it may be a sign to pause, ground, and return to yourself first before engaging.

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Practices to Reconnect Before Consuming News or Engaging in Difficult Conversations

If you notice that you feel off-center, here are a few somatic practices to bring yourself back to steadiness:

1. Press Into Your Seat – Feel the contact of your body with the chair or ground. Press down lightly with your feet. Take a slow breath.
   
2. Place a Hand on Your Chest or Belly – Feel the warmth of your own presence. Let yourself know, “I’m here. I’m with myself.”
   
3. Shake Out the Tension – Stand up, bounce lightly on your heels, shake out your hands. Let any stuck energy move through.
   
4. Humming or Sighing – A long exhale, a low hum, or even a gentle sigh can shift your nervous system into more regulation.
   
5. Touch Something Grounding – Hold a warm cup of tea, run your hands under cool water, feel the texture of something steady in your space.
   
6. Time Your Engagement – Set a timer for how long you’ll read the news or scroll. Give yourself permission to step away when the time is up.
   
7. Close with a Ritual – After engaging with challenging content, bring yourself back with a slow breath, a sip of water, or a look at something beautiful.
   

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Honoring Your Boundaries & Capacity

The truth is, we aren’t meant to hold everything, all at once, all the time. Our nervous systems aren’t built for it. And just because we have access to an endless stream of information doesn’t mean we need to take it all in.

Some days, we have more capacity to engage. Other days, we need to step back, recharge, and care for ourselves so that when we do engage, we can do so from a place of steadiness and clarity.

Give yourself permission to choose when and how you engage. To step back when you need to. To step forward when you feel ready. To stay connected to yourself in the process.

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A Final Question to Hold:
As you move through this season, ask yourself:

Am I engaging in a way that honors my steadiness, or am I losing myself in the noise?There is a way to stay present in the world while staying present to yourself. May we all find the balance.